I'm My Own Grandpa
(words to a song sung by Ray Stevens)

Many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow,who was pretty as can be,
This widow had a grown up daughter,who had hair of red,
My father fell in love with her,and soon they too were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law, and really changed my life,
Now my daughter was my mother,cos she was my father's wife,
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father,of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to my dad,
And so became my uncle,though it made me very sad,
For if he were my uncle,then that also made him brother,
Of the widows ground up daughter, who was of cause my mother.

Father's wife then had a son, who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandson,for he was my daughter's son,
My wife is now my mother, and it makes me blue,
Because although she is my wife,she's my grandmother too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother,then I'm her grandchild,
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild,
Cos now I have become the strangest case you ever saw,
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

Oh I'm my own grandpa,
I'm my own grandpa,
It sounds funny I know,
But it really is so,
I'm my own grandpa.